Drunk Arizona Fan Blog

[Matt (Arizona)]

Blog Post #1

Welcome to the inaugural "Drunk Arizona Fan" blog. I'll be posting all the insider info about your favourite Arizona sports teams (Yes, even the Coyotes) that all these so called "experts" won't tell you. 
First off, the Diamondbacks have a new GM! A brief introduction, name is Matt Schittone and apparently his experience involves lots of MLB The Show on PS4. Hardly a ringing endorsement but when you consider how terrible the last GM was here, it can't be worse. Oddly enough I'm hearing he also accepted the GM position for the Cardinals and Suns. Dude needs to get a life.
Anyway on to the moves he's made so far. Commissioner Troy took over for the retired Bud Selig and his first move was to blow the league up and put every player up for auction. The D-Backs roster as of now is:

• Jason Castro
• Brandon Belt
• Jurickson Profar
• Anthony Rendon
• Nolan Arenado
• Josh Harrison

6 players in and the D-Backs have a 3 time champ, a former #1 prospect, #5 player in MVP voting in 2014, a multiple gold glove winner, a 2014 all star, and Jason Castro. It's shaping up to be a pretty good team.

The minor league draft is also taking place and from my sources I'm hearing Schittone is looking to grab as many pitching prospects as possible. If I had to guess I would think that means he's gonna cheap out on pitching in the auction which would be stupid as hell. Pitching wins championships just ask the Giants (ugh)

Quick recap of other Arizona sports news:

• Cardinals WR Larry Fitzgerald says the Super Bowl should be cancelled and both teams lose. I agree
• The Suns continue to fight for a playoff spot as All Star weekend approaches 
• The Coyotes continue to suck and hopefully that means Connor McDavid will be a Coyote. When asked where McDavid wanted to be drafted he said "Anywhere but Edmonton. Dear god don't let them pick 1st overall" well said Connor. 

That wraps up the first of many posts by me. Stay tuned for more info about Arizona sports

[Matt (Arizona)]

Blog Post #2

Welcome back loyal followers! Since my last post a lot has happened in the world. You catch the Super Bowl? Crazy game. I'll tell you what though it's nice to see Tom Brady give his MVP truck that I'm sure is filled with technology and stuff to Malcolm Butler after his game sealing interception. Someone needs to tell Butler to make sure the tires are inflated though.

Anyway in the baseball world, the D-Backs have been busy filling out their entire offense. Word on the street is that the D-Backs were heavily involved in negotiations for Mike Trout, Bryce Harper, Melky Cabrera, and George Springer. GM Schittone came out and said the prices got "Goddamn ridiculous" and chose to sign Michael Brantley, Hunter Pence, Adam Eaton, Jarrod Dyson, and Peter Bourjos to team friendly deals. 

When you check the team out it's not perfect, the team definitely has holes (looking at you Yunel Escobar) but what team doesn't? Schittone didn't sign any "superstars" that the casual fan would be able to pick out of a lineup, but with a young core of guys like Rendon, Arenado, and Brantley the D-Backs have the bats to compete, it just depends on what arms Schittone is able to sign. 

In other Arizona news, the Suns are holding down the #8 spot in the West with the New Orleans Unibrows charging hard. Part of me wants to see the Pelicans make the playoffs over the Suns. The Suns will get killed by Golden State or Memphis and a Pelicans playoff birth could be what Anthony Davis needs to win the MVP title he deserves.

The Coyotes also have some teams charging hard at them, but in this case it's for last place. Toronto has lost a franchise record 11 straight, and with Buffalo losing 15 straight not too long ago, Connor McDavid is gonna be tough to get. With any luck though the Coyotes will win the lottery and we'll get to see McDavid in an Arizona Coyotes uniform before the team gets relocated to Quebec.

Well, that's it for now. With the MLB minor league draft going on I'm gonna write up a huge post at the conclusion of it grading each and every pick made my Schittone.

[Insert killer sign off phrase]

[Matt (Arizona)]

Blog Post #3

Welcome back to my award eligible blog! Today I have a special guest with me to write this post. It coincides with the release of the MLB Power Rankings. Please welcome my friend Jebediah Atkinson!


Thank you for that average at best welcome. As you said, the MLB Power Rankings were just released, and while some teams got good reviews, some got bad, I looked over each team and let me tell you I am not impressed!
Let me go over this pile of garbage one by one.

First up we have the Cleveland Indians. Ranked #1 in the Power Rankings, I give a much harsher grade. An F! But don't feel bad Cleveland, it's basically your default grade for anything you do. NEXT!

The New York Yankees. You're team sucks so bad your GM just quit on you. Tells you all you need to know. NEXT!

The Tampa Bay Devil Rays. I see the front office decided to change the name back to the Devil Rays, going back to the glory days of when you won 36 games a season. Good luck reaching that this year. NEXT!

The Atlanta Braves. It's only a matter of time before Troy Tulowitzki gets injured. This season it'll be because of a broken heart from being on such a garbage team. NEXT!

The Miami Marlins. Ben Revere could steal 100 bases this season and none would be as big a steal as the $10.5 million he stole from your team. NEXT!

The Boston Red Sox. The Dropkick Murphy's just released their newest single, it's called I'm shipping the hell away from Boston so I don't have to watch that garbage team! NEXT!

The Chicago Cubs. I hear the team is changing their slogan from "Wait till next year" to "Maybe next century" NEXT!

The Philadelphia Phillies. Even 76ers fans look at your team and cringe. NEXT!

The Toronto Blue Jays. Good thing Canadians are used to apologizing because the GM will be saying sorry to the fans all year that put up with that horrific team. NEXT!

The Detroit Tigers. Nice to see the rest of the team catch up to how awful the bullpen has been the last few years. NEXT!

The Minnesota Twins. The only thing good about this team is Danny Espinosa's mustache. NEXT!

The San Francisco Giants. *Kanye voice* This is the most overpaid outfield of all time! NEXT!

The Texas Rangers. Hey in case you were wondering, cholesterol is not a factor in winning baseball games. NEXT!

The Los Angeles Dodgers. This team is so bad your players are changing their names cause they don't wanna be associated with you. NEXT!

The Colorado Rockies. Good thing weed is legal in Denver, I feel bad for anyone that has to watch that team while sober. NEXT!

The Oakland A's. The good news about this team is that even if they were good no one comes to the stadium anyway. NEXT!

The Arizona Diamondbacks. "Know what'll be a good idea? Paying someone $20 million to sit at home" What kind of idiot signs off on that? NEXT!

The Kansas City Royals. Last time I saw something as past their prime as your team Madonna was showing her ass at the grammys. NEXT!

The Seattle Mariners. The good news is you don't have to decide whether to run or pass in baseball. NEXT!

Oh, done already? I had so much more material. Oh well until next time see you losers later.

[Matt (Arizona)]

Unorthodox blog post today as I have to post this from my phone I'm hearing word of a blockbuster deal which would have the D-Backs land a 2nd baseman.
The team needs a bat after learning Profar is done for 2015 and while I'm not sure who'd be coming back word is Patrick Corbin is being dealt along with a top pitching prospect.
For what I'm hearing Schittone is giving up I've narrowed it down to Altuve, Cano, Kinsler or Kipnis coming to Arizona

[Matt (Arizona)]

Week 1 Recap

Opponent: Houston Astros
Result: 4-7-1
Current Standings: 8/10 in West

Week 1 MVP: Alejandro De Aza (.304 avg, .889 ops, 6 runs, 2 home runs, 3 RBI)
Honorable Mention: Odrisamer Despaigne (4.2 innings, 0 hits, 0 walks, 1 K, 0.00 era, 0.00 whip)

Week 1 LVP: Too many pitchers to name. 7 players have an ERA over 5 after the first week. 
Dishonourable Mention: Adam Eaton (0.80 avg, .200 ops, 0 runs, 0 home runs, 0 RBI, 0 steals)

Takeaway: It's week one. No need to overreact. Rendon on the DL and Brantley only playing 2 games were huge blows for a week in which the D-Backs played arguably the favourite for the World Series. Just a case of bad timing. To come away with a 4-7-1 record after the piss poor performances that most of the team put up is actually a pretty good result. It's easy to overreact after the first week, but players like Strasburg, Donaldson, etc are too good to keep this team down for long. 

Week 2 matchup: Texas Rangers

[Matt (Arizona)]

Week 2 Recap

Opponent: Texas Rangers
Result: 7-5-0 (11-12-1 overall)
Standings: 6/10 in West (Up 2 spots)

Week 2 MVP: Howie Kendrick (.455 avg, 2 home runs, 8 RBI, 6 runs, 1.448 OPS)
Honourable Mention: Josh Donaldson (.379 avg, 3 home runs, 7 RBI, 7 runs, 1.143 OPS)

Week 2 LVP: Jason Vargas (3 IP, 10 hits, 4 earned runs, 1 walk, 1 K, 12.00 era, 3.67 whip)
Dishonourable Mention: Brandon Belt (.130 avg, 1 run, 0 home runs, 0 RBI, 0 stolen bases, .361 OPS)

Takeaway: Good bounce back week after the poor showing against Houston. To win every hitting category against the Rangers is huge, and adding Kluber should help a struggling pitching staff and not a moment too soon considering another tough matchup lies ahead.

Week 3 Opponent: Los Angeles Dodgers

[Matt (Arizona)]

BREAKING NEWS!

The Arizona Diamondbacks have fired pitching coach Gustavo Chacin after 3 horrific weeks with the big club. After going 5-12-1 in pitching categories through 3 weeks, GM Schittone said it's time for a change.

"It's unacceptable. Our arms are better than that. It's embarrassing and our team is suffering due to poor pitching from good pitchers. I don't wish Chacin luck cause he sucks and shouldn't be coaching little league"

No word yet on who will become the full time pitching coach but former D-Back great Brandon Webb will take over interim duties with the club  

[Matt (Arizona)]

Week 3 Recap

Opponent: Los Angeles Dodgers
Result: 4-8 (15-20-1 Overall)
Current Standings: 7/10 in West (Down 1 spot)

Week 3 MVP: Jose Altuve (.321 Avg, 1 home run, 7 RBI, 3 SB, 3 runs, .831 OPS)
Honourable Mention: Brad Boxberger (3 IP, 2 wins, 1 save, 5 K's, 0.00 era, 0.00 whip)

Week 3 LVP: Corey Kluber (6 IP, 13 Hits, 6 ER, 1 BB, 6 K's, 9.00 era, 2.33 era)
Dishonourable Mention: Jason Vargas (5.2 IP, 8 Hits, 5 ER, 1 BB, 4 K's, 7.94 era, 1.59 whip)

Takeaway: Not sure what more there is to say than pitching failed this team again. GM is making moves, trying to improve and nothing is working. Kluber failed miserably his first start, though it's most likely just one bad game from last year's Cy Young winner, but still every win counts and this didn't help matters for a team with World Series aspirations. GM Schittone has had enough, acquiring Alexei Ramirez, Koji Uehara, Victor Martinez, and firing the pitching coach. Hopefully the team wakes up because they have a 4th straight killer matchup this week against the best team in the west. 

Week 4 Opponent: Oakland A's

[Matt (Arizona)]

Week 4 Recap

Opponent: Oakland Athletics
Result: 6-6-0 (21-26-1 overall)
Standings: 6/10 in West (Up 1 spot)

Week 4 MVP: Jose Altuve (.467 avg, 1 home run, 8 RBI, 7 runs, 2 steals, 1.233 ops)
Honourable Mention: Michael Brantley (.370 avg, 1 home run, 6 RBI, 5 runs, 2 steals, 1.098 ops)

Week 4 LVP: Drew Hutchison (8.1 IP, 12 ER, 17 hits, 6 BB, 2 K's, 12.96 era, 2.76 whip)
Dishonourable Mention: Corey Kluber (11.1 IP, 8 ER, 18 hits, 4 BB, 8 K's, 6.35 era, 1.94 whip)

Takeaway: Coming away .500 against the top team in the West is nothing to be upset about, unfortunately, the D-Backs were 3 runs and 4 strikeouts away from being 8-4. This team is starting to trend in the right direction as guys like Strasburg are starting to turn it around from a tough start and Jose Altuve has been an absolute monster the past 2 weeks winning my MVP award each time. A 5th straight tough week awaits the team

Week 5 opponent: Colorado Rockies 

[Matt (Arizona)]

Week 5 Recap

Opponent: Colorado Rockies
Result: 10-2-0 (31-28-1 overall)
Standings: 5/10 in West (Up 2 spots)

Week 5 MVP: Alexei Ramirez (.348 avg, 2 home runs, 5 RBI, 3 runs, 1 steal, .986 OPS)
Honourable Mention: Tim Lincecum (6 IP, 0 ER, 8 K's, 3 walks, 1 win, 0.00 era, 1.00 whip)

Week 5 LVP: Odrisamer Despaigne (5 IP, 10 hits, 8 ER, 1 walk, 1 K, 14.40 era, 2.20 whip)
Dishonourable Mention: Vance Worley (5 IP, 9 hits, 5 ER, 3 walks, 0 K's, 9.00 era, 2.40 whip)

Takeaway: Damn good week knocking the crap out of one of the top teams in the west. This was just a great all around team performance for the week, there were a few clunkers that are listed above, but for the most part everyone had a solid week which made choosing an MVP so difficult. Brantley, Hutchison, Uehara, etc all deserve some credit for great weeks. Hopefully this is the week the D-Backs needed to get their team going and show that they're contenders to win it all. 

Week 6 Opponent: Kansas City Royals